Note to Self : Do Not Forget

As I find myself back in my room, almost immobilized by the combined weight of all the madness preceding, I find myself unable to understand what it is I ever wanted in the first place.  The weight of my cumulative systematic plans and my variably invariable layers is reducing my flexibility, most notably my mental agility in trying to understand, see, what is indeed being thrown at me, and who indeed is doing the throwing.

So I get lost in a cigarette, ready aim fire, and blow plumes of frustration into the ether, sometimes in ring form.  I get lost in remembering, and I’m now realizing the danger in this, as I only need to remember one thing: do not forget, see.

Do not forgot what it is that got me here in the first place.  And, most importantly, don’t forget that I know the steps to getting out of here in one piece.  It’s all part of the plan.

I let myself get swept up in events that pull me under, almost farther down than I can muster — I mean, everyone has a threshold of how much he or she can overcome.  I’ve FELT close to mine, but I can’t tell, and I don’t know how much longer I should push towards this very real edge.  I really don’t.